Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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