About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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