It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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