I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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