some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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