eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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