You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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