To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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