so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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