At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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