Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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