Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My liver just broke up with me...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize