Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize