Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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