grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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