we should wear snuggies to the strip club
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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