It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize