I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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