sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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