$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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