Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have post one night stand depression
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