you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize