the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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