I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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