is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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