hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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