Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
