Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize