We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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