Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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