Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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