Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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