I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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