john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize