I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize