if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh god it's open bar.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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