My liver just broke up with me...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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