Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize