me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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