Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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