Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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