so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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