two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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