bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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