So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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