Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize