I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize