Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
