here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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