hotel room ftw
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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