Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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