You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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